At Ryerson, we like to say how our school is so much more “young” and “modern” than our friends over at U of T are. Turns out, those old folks are a lot more contemporary than we gave them credit for. Earlier this week, the U of T Sexual Education Centre is launching a Sexual Awareness Week, launching off with a public sex-friendly event hosted at Oasis Aqua Lounge.
While we haven’t quite gotten access to such facilities just yet, we like to keep our students just as liberated. We’re not sure if this list itself is a collection of the best, the worst, or just the craziest. Probably the last, but if you’re desperately in need for action, and commuting home just won’t do it. Without further ado, here is our list of places to get frisky on our very own Ryerson campus.
Ted Rogers School of Management
Behind its polished exterior, deep within the bowels of in the TRSM building, it’s been said there are some rooms, mainly on the far east of the building, where couples can get it on… One of our anonymous sources may or may not have accidentally disturbed one while in search of an empty classroom.
The lights are dimmed, the seats are comfy, the whole environment almost feels too romantic to be just a class. Maybe not during your ENG 108 lecture, when class is full and everybody is quiet.
All librarian jokes aside, I’m sure you can steal a couple minutes with your object of desire between those secluded stacks. Also, those study rooms you can book? It’s like having your own little office. Except the rooms aren’t walled up, so everyone will hear you.
The library building, or POD, or hell, any of the campus stairwells. Go to the very bottom or very top of the stairs for guaranteed privacy, who’s going to take the stairs past the bottom and top floors? You libidinous individuals, that’s who.
Create your own mind-swirling, whirpool-experience. I’m totally joking, guys. This is disgusting. As a former lifeguard, I’m going to have to say this is off-bounds, I can’t even pretend to joke about this one. There’s just too much risk for bladder infections, irritation where you don’t really want to be irritated, and risk of losing your RAC membership. But hey, what’s life without a little risk… and a little itching.
Believe it or not, it’s been done (I have trouble believing such adventurous acts myself). According to security sources, it has happened and it didn’t end well. The night ended with a trip to the emergency room with an unfortunate lower body damage for an unfortunate guy. Time (and speed) is of the essence, I guess. But if you really are stuck between a do-or-do-not situation, again, remember the unwritten law–never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
and if all else fails, there’s always…
Yeah, it’s dirty, smelly, and every surface is swarming with bacteria. Unless you really want to, this really isn’t a place meant for your special time with your special someone (but then again, none of the places on this list really are…). This is truly the most romantic choice of the bunch. The strong aromas over powering the senses within the stalls makes for a night fit for royalty.
Like most university campus, ours is filled with many people who aren’t here to have sex. Should you dare to do the deed, keep in mind, a faster speed. I can think of a million situations less horrifying than getting caught doing the nasty nasty by your prof. But if you can’t help it and your libido takes over, channel Batman. Stick to the shadows, the darkness is your ally, adopt the dark. Considering all the risks, you and your lovely might just be better off going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get each other killed. Or worse, expelled.