AILEEN KARL| Just Call Me Humpty Dumpty



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[blockquote source=”Mother Goose”]Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again. [/blockquote]

Last week, when the #RoadFromRyerson bloggers got together, we talked about the struggles that were weighing on us during our transition out of university. My blog post this week is the product of that conversation. I will admit that I was hesitant to be so public with my feelings, but I figured that if at least one person could relate, then it would be worth it.

Relating To An Egg?

Now, I can honestly say that I never expected to be quoting a nursery rhyme in one of my blogs, let alone Humpty Dumpty. Yet here I am. Strangely enough at this point in my life I feel like I can relate to the macabre story of an egg falling off of a wall. Before you call me crazy, let me explain:

When I was younger, I always thought that graduating university would be a dream come true. No more teachers, no more tests – I would finally be an adult, free to make my own decisions. I thought that it would be all unicorns and rainbows as I moved on to the next stage of my life. I thought I would go on to be a millionaire working at a job that I loved. But with convocation fast approaching, I feel like that fairytale image has faded into harsh reality. I feel more anxiety and confusion than ever before. (And you’re talking to a girl that spent most of her middle school years wearing black eyeliner and listening to Green Day!)

Unicorns are cute and all, but really hard to find!

The Good, The Bad and The Eggly

For the last 17 years I have defined myself a student. Now that that label is being removed, I don’t know who I am anymore. It feels as if I am Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall where I have been so carefully perched for the last five years.

A large part of this feeling has to do with the realization that I have zero interest in pursuing a career in my area of study. Now that’s not a knock on global management or the business program, I just have always had the desire to create, whether that’s with words or images. I still vividly remember talking to my parents during first year about switching into the graphic communications program. But I was convinced otherwise. I wish I had had the guts to pursue what I am really passionate about.

Portfolio Collage
I at least got to use my design skills on some business projects.

Less Than Egg-citing Prospects

Now I am left with the dilemma of having paid for 5 years of university yet not being technically qualified for any of the jobs that excite me. I think that has played a major role in my halfhearted job search. It’s hard to force yourself to apply for jobs that you could really care less about. I have seen too many people become trapped in jobs that they absolutely despise and I don’t want that to be me. But then I guess that’s the millennial attitude, we actually want to enjoy the work that we do. Let me note however, that not really caring about a job does not make the rejection suck any less or the job search process any less frustrating. It also does not ease any of the external pressures from parents or society to get a job. In fact, I was told a couple of days ago that recruiters see gaps in your resume as huge red flags. I know it’s ridiculous but I feel like there is a countdown clock looming over my head and with each day that passes I become more unemployable. With all this pressure, I suppose that it’s no surprise that I feel like an egg hurtling towards the concrete.

Scrambled or Hard Boiled?

I wish I could say that I have a resolution. That’s what we always want to hear, right? The happy ending where everything turns out okay. Unfortunately, real life isn’t a nursery rhyme and at this point I don’t know if I’ll end up a scrambled egg or find out if I’m hard boiled. What I suspect will happen is that I’ll end up taking whatever job so that I can save up and go to school for what I’m actually passionate about. Until then, if anyone knows a place looking for a recent graduate with an interest in graphic design and skills in communications and social media, hit me up.

A little humour to end things off.