People You See in the Lecture Jungle

People You See in the Lecture Jungle

So you’re sitting in the lecture hall halfway through class and it’s mere minutes before your prof lets you out for a break. You’re itching to leave and no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to pay attention… Now what?

Whether you’re a first year or a fourth year student, you’ve been going to Ryerson for a few weeks now. At this point, you’ve grasped the gist of how things run and you’ve likely taken notice to the kind of people that seem populate every class you’re in. Since you’ve got a few minutes, I challenge you to look around and take in the sights and sounds of the Lecture Jungle:

The Joker

This individual is compelled to be in the limelight at all times. Always cracking jokes in class, this type of person comes in two distinct varieties: the Loud Mouth and the Silent Cynic. The Loud Mouth feels the need to obnoxiously yell out the first thing that comes to their mind, be it funny or stale… while the Silent Cynic will just sit next to you and whisper a snarky comment about everything that the professor says.

The Question Master

Someone who I also like to refer to as The Idiot. There’s always that one person who constantly raises their hand, asking questions left and right. Half of them are redundant, and the other half ask for clarification on matters already thoroughly explained by the professor… Ughhh.

The Keener

Normally sits at the front of the class, studiously taking notes. Only asks relevant questions. Knows everything about everything. Omnipotent. You want to befriend this person.

The Teacher’s Pet

Sometimes an extension of The Keener, the Teacher’s Pet is the one person who goes to the front and talks to the prof after every lecture (or during breaks). What could they possibly be talking about? I smell a scheme.

The Dipping Bird

Like those iconic dipping birds, you’ll spot this person gradually bobbing their head more and more as the lecture drags on. They just can’t seem to stay awake, but at least they’re trying!

The Gargoyle

At some point, the Dipping Bird may evolve into a Gargoyle. These living statues will literally pass out and stay in one position for the entire lecture. Gargoyles tend to especially populate the Jungle on Monday mornings.

The Facecrook

For any lecture that allows the use of laptops, you can almost guarantee the appearance of a Facecrook. These students will pretend to be listening for the first few minutes of the lecture, but eventually find themselves spending the entire class lurking Facebook. For an extra treat, if you happen to own a laptop as well, Like one of their photos and shoot them a wink. ;)

The Text Doctor

Never. Stops. Texting.

The Justice League

When the class begins to get a little rowdy, there seems to be a group of self-hired students scattered about the room who “SHHH!” everyone into silence. This enforcement team is hard to spot – consider them to be similar to hidden Air Marshals.

The Cheech and Chong (Siegfried and Roy)

These chatterboxes are always seen in conversation. They run the risk of getting called out by the professor, but they seem to be oblivious or fearless, much akin to Siegfried and Roy, to the consequences of their actions.

The Breaktaker

Why does this person keep stepping out of the room? You will notice them dropping in and out of the class at least a few times, for what appears to be a bathroom break… But who really knows?

The Latecomer

The Latecomer will awkwardly stumble into class late, take a quick look around the room, and decide to plop themselves toward the front of the class out of convenience. Sometimes, after what might have been a long night, the Latecomer may transform into a Gargoyle as well.

Obviously, I have only briefly touched upon the many shapes and sizes lecture-goers come in. As the years go by, you will discover a Darwinistic evolution to these people that adapts to the times. But for now, the more you know about these different people, the more you can better strategize where you sit, who to talk to, and who to avoid in a class that you don’t have many friends in (electives, anyone?). Welcome to the Jungle.

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